Life of a Lagosian 6.0

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Issue 6.0

OK… So, where did we stop? Yeah! I said I will be talking about some other category of passengers. If you live in Lagos and you are not so lucky to have your Church around the corner, just some minutes from your place of abode and you therefore need to take a ‘danfo’, or you are one of those few who go to work on Sundays, then you must have had an encounter with the category of passengers that I refer to as “The Overloads”
The seats of a ‘danfo’ can be really uncomfortable, but a combo of an uncomfortable seat and “the overload” is the genesis of my Sunday journey rule, Which is; Never sit anywhere else but the seat beside the driver.


When you are seated in a ‘danfo’ and the bus stops to pick passengers and the next thing you see is a group of people, all clothed in the same apparel; Daddy, Mummy and their five or sis kids, , getting into the bus and then you begin to hear phrases like “Bimbo sun fun Aburo e dada, aunty e mabinu, Junior wole na” (Bimbo, make room for your sister, aunty sorry, junior get in the bus) and you see the family cramp themselves into a space meant for three people, when you meet a family like the one I just described, then you’ve met the most popular type of “The Overloads”. I naturally don’t have issues with these subcategory because some of these kids are always really pretty and you find yourself offering to help their parents by carrying one of them. Sometimes though, some of these kids can be garrulous and restless who end up ruining your Sunday wear.
Another type of the overloads are often met in ‘danfos’ that shuttle along markets. For instance, ‘danfos’ that transport passengers from Mile 2 to Oshodi, Ikotun to Oshodi, Ketu/Mile 12 to Ikorodu, Oshodi to Mushin. If you are a regular passenger in ‘danfos’ who do this, then you most likely have met that woman who despite having quite a lot of load, will refuse to pay extra charges so that her stuffs can be put in the boot. Instead, the overload, will hurl all her wares and loads on her laps, then put on an angry face that makes it impossible for whoever is seated next to her to complain.


Asides the overloads, we have the infamous Chop-chop. These are the category of passengers who sees even the smallest traffic as an avenue to buy something. Take for instance a journey from Iyana Ipaja to Iyana Iba, the chop chop will buy gala and soft drinks when the driver stops for passengers at Alaguntan, buy boiled eggs at Egbeda, if she’s lucky to see a girl hawking boiled corns in Isheri, she buys. If the ‘danfo’ makes another stop at Hotel bus stop, then she uses that avenue to get Chin-chin and Yoghurt.
You think that’s all? Well you are mistaken because when she gets to Igando, she will still get bread, get orange at Akesan and on and on until she alights. The fact that she has roving eyes and an insatiable appetite isn’t the problem, but the fact that Chop Chop’s by design don’t seat where they can easily get all these things, rather they always have to ask the individual that is unfortunate to seat close to the window. You hear them say things like “No be pawpaw be that? E don tey wey I eat pawpaw oh, bros (Bros is the young man that’s unlucky to be seating closest to the window) abeg help me call that Mama wey dey sell pawpaw”


Asides all these popular categories, we have ‘the stylishly nosy’. When the stylishly nosy are in a bus and notice that the pasengers closest to them are trying to converse without a third party listening in, they pull out their earphones, plug it in their ears pretend to be listening to music(even when they aren’t), giving them ample opportunity to listen in on any conversation going on without appearing nosy


What other category haven’t I mentioned? 🤔 🤔 Oh, yeah! A reader dropped a category in my comment box last week. We have the category that I like to call the “Wannabe” Footballers. This is that group of 2-5 guys who board the ‘danfo’ after watching an interesting match. They come into the ‘danfo’ arguing on top of their voice and keep arguing until they drop. Looking at it, this seems like my favourite category; you see them flaunt muscles, talking about international players as if they are the coach. When the talk about football goes stale, they will move the discussion to politics, or even start making jest of each other.


I’m sure you must have met some other cool category asides the ones I mentioned in this issue and the previous issues, well not to worry, you can mention it in the comment section or drop a mail at Ositelucomfort@gmail.com and I will consider it for a sequel issue.
Still your nerdy girl
CiCi.

Thank you for keeping up with the “Life of a Lagosian” series.
Think we aren’t getting something right? Or you have a storyline or idea that you think should be incorporated into the Life of a Lagosian series, slide into my mail box and let’s get better together.


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